March Like A Duck

They were very excited to find roller skates under the tree for Christmas. We had been playing it safe and only letting them practice in the house, despite their protests. But, in early February, with great rejoice, we ventured outside…armed with helmet, knee/elbow pads, gloves – and with close supervision (plus a phone to call 911).

I read somewhere that they should point their toes outward and lift their feet, instead of trying to walk. So Gayle told them to “march like a duck”. It worked!

Dad was supposed to also get skates, so that I could keep up; but can find no one to encourage me. The reaction seems to be more like, “Really, at your age?” Not in those words, of course – but clear enough. I have only skated once since I was a kid, but it looks like such fun!

We also tried taking off the training wheels from their bikes, during that injury defiant weekend. Andrew was ready, but it will continue to be a challenge for Bethany. She just doesn't have the confidence and doesn't like to ride fast enough to maintain balance.

The initial trial was on the grass incline into the retention basin that is part of the park across the street. The grass was too long (because of the recent rains), so they quickly bogged down. But, such a nice soft landing!

A few days later, while Bethany was at her Daisies troop meeting, Andrew took to the streets and sidewalks, and did much better. And I even managed not to pass out from running after him. Kudos all around!

A few days later, we went over Bethany's elementary school. They have a large field. It doesn't have winter grass, so though it's still low impact, it's much easier to get some speed. Bethany was back with training wheels, but Andrew was still gung ho on two wheels.

At first he still needed a push to get going each time he stopped or fell off, then I got him to use the slope to get started on his own. By the end of the session, he was mostly able to go it solo, even on the flat.

He even found a little dip for a culvert, that he used for a little thrill action.

Andrew never looked back on the training wheels after that. He loves his bike! Bethany will take a little more time to feel ready. But they have both become quite skilled on their scooters!

Rock Star

Mealtime is always, always a push to get Bethany to eat more. It is not that she is picky. All the food groups are equally unattractive to her. She is obsessed, however, with candy (and to a lesser degree snacks in general). So there’s added pressure to establish a healthy diet. When it comes to snacks, they can be healthy snacks, even meal-like, and she’ll still eat them without fuss. But, serve the same presented as a meal…and it’s no dice.

I expect that if we just broke all her meals up into an endless series of snack times, she would eat it all.

Bouncy In Our Backyard (Andrew's Birthday)/Helping to Deflate

Bethany remains in the lowest percentile for weight to height (see meal issue above). This small size suggests gymnastics as a good activity for her to do well.

She’s just finished another series in her weekly gymnastics classes. They are in big barn of a metal building, very conveniently down the road from us. She still appears motivated to learn, but would do better if she paid more attention to her coach and less to all of the other kids, doing other activities in the gym.

She is very interested in perfecting a cartwheel–and getting much better–but has a way to go. Cartwheel is such a joyous skill to have. If I were a few years younger…

She also works on her handstand. Not as much progress there yet.

The focus for now shifts to cheer class. She’s taking that though city Parks and Recreation programs. Thought that would give her confidence in public performance.

She likes it and maybe will identify more with being a cheerleader at this age, than at being a gymnast. Unfortunately the coach doesn’t want the parents in the room, so progress is difficult to monitor.

She does enjoy being in control and “on stage”. A lot of her roll playing with Andrew and friends involves making commands, such as to a pretend dog or pretend students. It is the same “bossy” behavior that gets her in trouble in school – and home.

When Bethany took a hip-hop class last year, she often would stand next to the instructor, facing the other kids, mimicking the instructor as she demonstrated the steps.

She seems fascinated with the whole “rock star” persona. When she sees a picture or video clip, she’ll ask, “Is that a rock star?”

The first rock star she heard about, from her friends at daycare, was Hannah Montana. She is still the only one that Bethany and Andrew know by name. Anytime they hear her name mentioned, they get excited.

At the museum, a Civil War piece with the kids (in a previous life).

Bethany likes to grab a pretend microphone (or her toy guitar), and play rock star – but then, who doesn’t…Born to Be W i i i l l d d.

She has always wanted to help with whatever we are working on; Andrew is not much at helping. He expresses an interest, and then gives up quickly. He’s still not at all good with “clean up, clean up” – despite Barney’s encouragement.

We haven’t put much effort into making it a requirement for them, but when on occasion we assign them a task, Bethany will jump right in, but Andrew will only make a half-hearted try before stopping altogether.

Do They Have Cars?

Andrew looks forward to daycare much more now. Either it is because he is older and bonds more with others, or that he just prefers the new school since we moved them last year.

We requested an early placement for him in the pre-K program at the daycare, to get on track for kindergarten. Normally he would not start kindergarten this Fall because he doesn't turn five until December, but we could choose to early enroll. Testing for kindergarten begins on February 16th.

The first report from his pre-K teacher, after a few weeks, was positive academically, but she felt that since he was among the youngest in the class, that he may not be ready emotionally.

There were also reports that he was spending a lot of time wrestling with a couple of the boys in his class. That surprised us–had not seen him wrestling at school or home. We have since witnessed the behavior and it is clear that he is more of a willing participant, with the other two being the aggressors. We’ve talked to him about saying “No” and paying more attention to the teacher.

Fortunately, a new program opened up where they break out into a smaller class for a couple of hours (in another room, with a different teacher) for accelerated studies each day. We jumped to sign him up, hoping that this will make a big difference.

So now both Bethany and Andrew have homework. Of course, it is really homework for us too–mostly mommy. Andrew seems to be enjoying the challenge of the new class, and word is that he 's doing very well.

With Jack Frost after Frosty the Snowman play.

Andrew is tall for his age, so he outweighs most of his age group, but he is average for weight to height. Even when he was three, people thought he was five; so making him appear all the more immature.

It’s hard to remember he just turned four. It seemed that he was three for a really long time. I had to stop and do the math more than once to convince myself that he was still three.

We’ve come to expect Andrew to do things that are not really age appropriate, because he is so big and the same height as Bethany, and because they do so many things together. When they sit, Andrew is taller because his height is in his torso and Bethany’s is in her legs.

His favorite activity is “watching a show” or “watching a movie”. Second would be “go to Target”, where he mostly hangs in the toy cars section, or watches the movie trailers in the video section.

Anytime we go to a new store, he asks, “Do they have cars?” Surprisingly, most do!

Next on the top hits list is playing with his cars and his car tracks. (Sometime I should count how many cars he has. On second thought, it may be better not to know.)

Thankfully, following closely behind playing with cars is going for a walk or bike ride, right in front of playing catch (with any type of ball) or batting.

Not to forget reading. They do both enjoy us reading to them. So we are not totally shirking. Though clearly not dedicated as those “good” parents that read TWENTY minutes EACH? day.

We go to the library once a week, whether or not there is story time. Andrew (and often Bethany) plays on preschool video game computers. Bethany will more likely follow me around looking for books and videos, or interject herself into some activity with other children. She is very social.

Occasionally we've let them (mostly Andrew) play at home on the Internet preschool game sites. For Christmas they received a video game system, so we’ll see how that shifts his activities. We assume that it will eventually be a struggle to keep his video game time under control, but believe it is necessary now for development skills, and prehaps to bond with his friends.

Andrew continues his weekly t-ball class and starts his twice a week soccer again. He has had more fun at the t-ball, because the class was mostly just three other boys, in a gym. At soccer there are twenty other boys and girls, so things get a bit more hectic and disorganized; not as much the confidence builder. On the other hand, he has a cool coach, that he looks up to. Now the new t-ball class is outside with ten other kids, so we'll see how that goes.

Smiley Faces and Glue

Bethany’s excelling in her first year at (note to self: need to be more positive) Kindergarten, after somewhat of a rough start. We started getting daily reports from her teacher after the initial report below, and being placed, by her teacher, on a behavior plan. Placing Bethany on a behavior plan…not us, just to be clear.

“She is doing well in Kindergarten, but she is very young and at times very immature. She is still struggling to sit still, to sit in her chair, to be quiet when I ask and sometimes keeping her hands to herself. She is funny and silly, but sometimes she has a hard time knowing when to stop being silly and start listening.”

She continues to have above normal trouble with remaining quiet and still, but improved from the first weeks. The teacher says that this is in line with her being younger than most in the class.

The goal each day is for five smiley faces on the report. She was averaging three before the holiday break. In the first two days since the break she’s gotten five. When she gets five, we all do a happy dance (picture the Chicken Dance). There is also a coin bank where deposits are made or removed, depending on the score for the day.

It must be exhausting for such a high energy, imaginative person to try to restrain herself and to focus. She is clearly more tired than she was at daycare; falls asleep at dinner from time to time, and on any evening car trip.

We’ve gone in for two parent-teacher meetings, for first hand performance overviews, plus there are e-mail exchanges with the teacher, mostly of a generic classwide kind, but sometimes little notes on Bethany.

Her Aunt Laura has been to the class twice now as a teacher volunteer. We each need to plan a day off work to volunteer also.

We attended a dinner at school the first month, then a fun nighttime Fall Festival with games and bouncies galore. And, along with grandma, got to see a holiday recital for her class where they sang, danced and played instruments.

One day I received a call from the school nurse. Uh Oh!

Bethany had fallen on the playground. The cut was under her chin and small, so they were leaving it up to us as to whether she needed to see a doctor. Well, given that sight unseen option, we really had no choice (other than good parent vs. bad parent).

I took off work, picked her up and went to her doctor, where they glued the cut closed. A little adventure for both of us.

By Herself??

We attended the Meet the Teacher night at Bethany’s new school.

Before going, I thought, “No big deal. She’s been in daycare now for two years (long days, 7:30 to 5:00) and is used to a pre-K curriculum. How different can kindergarten be?”

As we arrived, it started right away to seem more of a big deal. The parking lot was packed with cars, with spill over up and down every side street. We parked a block away and walked in the near 110 degree heat to the wall of the admin building. There the class assignments were posted.

They had expanded kindergarten to six classrooms this year, spread across two buildings. Twenty five students per class. That’s a lot of kindergarteners!

We eventually found her room and met the teacher, whom we liked. The classroom is modern, well equipped and engaging. All was good again…as expected.

Then I saw it – the teacher’s desk!

The daycares did not have a teacher’s desk! Suddenly my perspective changed for good. This is serious! We have always referred to the daycare as “school”, but this is SCHOOL.

We were early, so we left the classroom and walked through the courtyard of the campus (at least six buildings) to the cafeteria/gym/auditorium. Cafeteria! Gym!! Auditorium!!! Clearly I had forgotten my early childhood, and so was not expecting all of this. Now, in rushed those visions of my first days of school. Goodbye to the simpler ways of daycare.

I had just realized a couple of days ago that she would be packing a lunch, but still assumed she would eat in her classroom.

Kindergarten for my childhood was only half day (no lunch break needed). And, from first grade through high school, I had gone home for lunch; no cafeterias. This was out of my comfort zone.

Back in the classroom, the teacher gave a PowerPoint presentation to orient us.

Bethany will have the option to buy her lunch from the cafeteria. Buy lunch herself!

OK, calm down; we won’t likely do that, maybe just buy milk. But still, I’m trying to imagine Bethany carrying a lunch box into that cavernous room filled with kids, open it by herself, eat what she wants, pack it back up when done, all by herself, and then carry it back to the classroom. You mean like a real person!

Bethany-itude

Bethany has an ease in approaching others, both friends and strangers. Fortunately, she is not outright fearless; that could be bad. She does have a guarded approach, but much in contrast to those of us who have such a fear of offending or being embarrassed that we don’t even try to approach someone.

She definitely enjoys observing others and then wants to join in; seems to genuinely like to help.

If a child is crying or struggling with something, she’ll approach, observe quietly and then do or say what she can to ease the situation.

If someone drops something, she rushes up to pick it up for them.

In most cases the adults seem pleasantly surprised when she walks up to them and starts asking questions and expressing an interest in them.

With the kids the reaction varies, sometimes it’s “Hey! A friendly face.” At other times it is more “Mind your own business!”. The latter attitude, Bethany doesn't always detect. That’s a little sad to see her keep trying. Or, maybe it should be inspiring to see her keep trying.

In a group of peers, she will often try to lead–but then is flexible enough to follow when another takes control.

Around the house, she is often asking to help. She likes to join in on the cleaning, cooking and to assist in repairs. Unfortunately, we usually have let efficiency and expediency get in the way, and refuse her help. Gotta watch that! We want her to retain that eagerness, when she is a teenager and we badly need the help. Please!!

Dining Humor

The latest dinner table entertainment (Remember Hello Moose? We still do that at times.) is jokes. Both Bethany and Andrew enjoy telling jokes–in quick succession , one joke after another.

Now, these are jokes told by someone who barely knows what a joke is and knows that laughter is the expected result, but who does not actually know any jokes, or how to fashion a punch line.

Andrew at the museum "repairing" a phone.

They go something like this.

Andrew says, “What did the helicopter talk to the other helicopter? Mommy says, “I don’t know. What did the helicopter say to the other helicopter?"

Andrew says…wait for it…“It talks to the other helicopter!”

Mommy and Andrew laugh together. Then it repeats several more times, substituting for “helicopter”, each time with something different.

Bethany's delivery might be somewhat less on formula. She says something such as, "What did one person talk to the other person?" Mommy says (These are more times than not, directed to Mommy.), “I don’t know. What did…?”. Bethany responds, “It's six o’clock!” Mommy and Bethany laugh together.

Sometimes Bethany and Andrew just tell the jokes to each other, much like a competition. And, they don’t necessarily wait for a reply before giving the punch-like line.

The jokes aren’t funny, but the delivery is good, and the repetitive energy makes it funny after awhile, in a punch-drunk sort of way.

Big Weekend For Andrew

It was big weekend for Andrew. We bought him his first bike and his first big bed.

We had been waiting for him to show interest in a two wheeler. He had become very comfortable, skilled and daring on his big trike, so we thought it best not to push the issue. We’d talk about it from time to time, and make a few tries at getting him to ride while in a store, but saw no real attraction.

And, since we had just gotten him his first two-wheel scooter, he was already learning something new and had more transportation options, so I had expected it to be a while longer before he was ready to move on.

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But, we tried again as we happened upon the bike aisle and this time, suddenly, it was Cool. He got on and rode it around and around the aisles, maybe a dozen or more times, mostly with Bethany following behind on another bike. He would have ridden it through the checkout and out of the store if I had let him, but instead I carried it. A couple of times people stopped me to ask if I didn’t think the bike was a little small for me. It was a rite of passage for both Andrew and me.

The next morning he took his first ride through the neighborhood. He fell once or twice, but he’s so used to falling that it did not phase him at all. With his need for speed, we will soon have to start riding along, instead of walking; otherwise we’ll never keep up.

Gayle had been trying to find a fun bed for Andrew to graduate from the Elmo toddler bed that was handed down from Bethany. After a lot of searching she ran across an online classified ad for a great loft bed with a slide.

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It is in great shape, owing to it not having great enough appeal to the owner’s daughter to get her to stop sleeping in their bed, so it had hardly been used. We drove over with the kids. The father and I took it apart while the mother and Gayle watched Bethany and Andrew play with their daughter. Got it home and immediately reassembled it in Andrew’s room.

It was a big hit. Like taking them to an amusement park. Later Bethany begged to sleep in it with Andrew that first night. We said OK, but knew from our recent camp out experience, that it was quickly doomed to failure. So an hour later, we escorted her back to her own beautiful bed, vowing to dress up her room in some way to even things out.