Sleep Deprivation

We started our journey at 9:30 pm on Monday night when we left our home in Phoenix. We arrived at our hotel in Bryansk 56 hours later (Wednesday 3:30 pm, Phoenix time). We had been up since 6 am the day we left, getting ready.

During the 62 hours, the only sleep that I got was maybe 5 or 10 minutes in JFK terminal and 3 to 4 hours on the train. By far the most lost sleep I have experienced in my life. Gayle was more fortunate, she is able to sleep on the planes, so was much more rested.

On the return trip we started traveling at 11pm Moscow time, but we had been up since 7 am. After 36 hours of traveling, we finally got to sleep back home in our own bed at 3:30 am Phoenix time, again 56 hours after waking that final morning in Bryansk. We probably got 4 hours on the train and Gayle slept on the planes.

A few days after returning my jet lag/sleep deprivation turned into a cold. I was still feeling exhausted one week later.

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Our Kids

We have to keep in mind that nothing is final. One of the possibilities is that a family member may still step forward and stop the adoption. We are told that it is not likely in our case.

Of course, there has been much discussion about names. In our adoption classes we were told that more than anything, kids just want to fit in with their class and friends. So our plans have always been to give them names more common in the U.S., but maybe keep their Russian name as a middle name. We were briefly talking about names with our Russian coordinator (during a nightime car ride to Karachev). She summed up her philosophy as, "New life, new name".

We decided to keep their previous names in their thoughts as they grow up, but give them new names – first, middle and last.

The name of our daughter in her life at the Klintsy orphanage has been Marina. Her name in our new family will be Bethany Rose.

The name of our son in his life at the Karachev orphanage has been Dmitry. His name in our new family will be Andrew William.

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And here they are!!! Coming soon...a new photo album (link on the right).

Jet Lag

Jet lag interrupts the circadian 24-hour cycle rhythm. Besides fatigue and insomnia, a jet lag sufferer may experience anxiety, constipation, diarrhea, confusion, dehydration, headache, irritability, nausea, sweating, coordination problems, and even memory loss. Some individuals may report additional symptoms, such as heartbeat irregularities and an increased susceptibility to illness.

Isn't this as much a definition of a normal work day, as it is for jet lag?

I'm feeling jittery, numb, not so much sleepy, but drained. Still have the sensation that I'm sitting in the airplane at 30,000 feet.

Gayle says she's fine. She slept a lot on the planes; all six of them. I did not sleep at all. I just nodded off, then woke right back up. I did sleep maybe four hours on the train and a few minutes in the airport terminal; both coming and going.

We got about four hours the first night in the hotel and probably eight on the second night (in two four-hour shifts). We were up in the middle of the night talking/planning, while I took photos of the room. I was snapping pictures of the hallway at 2:00 in the morning, when I startled someone from the cleaning staff. I don't know what she said to me...maybe better that I don't know.

Trip details, stories and photos are coming soon.

Back Home Again

It turns out that our plans to update this journal on our first trip was not practical. More on that later. We got in two hours ago after 36 hours in travel mode. This is just a quick update before we go to bed.

The trip was successful. We accepted both matches and we are satisfied that both children are very healthy and well developed.

We have named the boy Andrew William and the girl Bethany Rose.

We both have been keeping written diaries on the trip, but had to fall behind on those also. Mostly relied on the plane rides to write.

The days were long, some never ending, meals were few and not much sleep. But, we have some great memories and we accomplished our goal.

Our kids are beautiful and happy. Now we dream of bringing them home.

We'll provide details later today and tomorrow.

Are We There Yet?

I'm tired. There was additional confusion with the doctor we will use for the independent evaluation. We had to get up at midnight last night to call Moscow and leave a message for the doctor, and he called back at 6 am. We hope that is is all confirmed now.

We were mostly packed yesterday, but today we repacked following some helpful tips. We put half of Gayle's clothes into my suitcase and half of hers into mine, in case one checked bag is lost. They we packed a change of underclothes in the carryon, in case both checked backs are lost. Plus, we had to be more careful about keeping the heavier items low and to the back, to avoid making the bags top heavy.

We are taking quite a few donations for the orphanages (clothes and medicine given by other adoptive parents through our agency.) So, despite our being very conservative with what we packed, our bags are stuffed.

My sister, Laura, will take us to the airport. Gayle's brother, Stephen, will be staying at our house and pick us up. Our neighbor, Paula, and Gayle's mom, Eleanor, will drop in at times to care for Lily, Angie and Sarah. They know we are leaving. So sad.

There is a lot of "unknown" ahead of us. Hope we can enjoy it.

Here's What We -think we- Know

The boy will be one year old next month. He is in a orphanage in the town of Karachev. The girl was two years old in August. She is in an orphanage in the town of Klintsy. Both towns are near the city of Bryansk. The children are not related.

We will be leaving Phoenix on Tuesday at 1 am, through Altlanta, then New York and arriving in Moscow at 11 am on Wednesday. Moscow is 10 hours ahead of Phoenix. The weather forecast for Wednesday is for a high of 30 degrees, with snow flurries (the same as the last few days).

We will then take the 7 pm train to Bryansk, arriving about 1 am. Our reservations are for a sleeper compartment on the train. Then, on to the Chernigov Hotel for a few hours of rest. In the morning, we'll visit a government official from the Committee on Families, Protection of the Motherhood and Children and Demography, see photos of the children and a few more details about them. Next, we will drive to the orphanages to see our kids for the first time. Oh my!!

We have arranged for an English speaking Russian doctor from Moscow to join us at the orphanages for an independent evaluation and to assist in obtaining as much medical and background information as we can, for baseline data to aid in their future medical care, back home.

We think we'll then head back to the hotel for the night.

In the morning, we will revisit the government official and hopefully indicate our acceptance of the match, and sign the paperwork to request the future court date.

Then, back on the overnight train to Moscow to catch a 1 pm flight to New York, Atlanta and arrive in Phoenix just after midnight on Sunday.

...we think.
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Please note the new link in the navigation bar on the right. "Our Photos", contains a link to our most recent photo albums uploaded to KodakGallery.com. You can view all the slideshows in order, or click the "Browse all albums" link at the bottom of the slideshow to jump the an album or particular photo. Enjoy!

Are We Excited?

Are we excited? Yes, we are very, very excited! Two kids, Yeah!!

Well, we were excited when we got the call. Since then, excitement has turned into stress, anxiety, frustration and confusion. Too many details to workout, given such short notice. And such a struggle to finalize even seemingly simple tasks.

The excitement is still there...just mostly hidden. It's the same as asking if we are excited about Christmas morning. We will be, but it still seems a long way off – and not too real yet.

We keep thinking that so many couples have done this before us, so there should be more clearly defined plans; in writing; all spelled out. But, instead here we are piecing together these hastily prepared blueprints...for "a wheel" ! ? ? .

And, while I'm answering questions, here's a couple more. Do we know how to take care of two toddlers? No. Have I ever changed a diaper? No. (Gayle has). There's been little time to think about caring for these kids, we are focused on just bringing them home. That's somewhat of an exaggeration. Babysitting the last few years has helped a lot. We've had classes and done some reading and of course watched SuperNanny. Still, we often think how odd it is that we are so fixed on the adoption at this point, and little on raising our children. Again – not too real yet.

We Got The Call

There had been delays. Nothing was moving forward in Russia. It's been ten months since our dossier was sent to Russia. We've had a few documents to update; but mostly just waiting; and waiting. Occasional news that the reorganization of the adoption process in Bryansk was still progressing. Here and there word of some other couples' successes. But nothing real. Nothing believable. Nothing to renew our energy. Just...waiting.

Got to the point where we'd want to stop searching for news, since it never brought information we could use or that would provide comfort; or hope.

But still, always kept the faith that it would happen...all in good time.

Was there a "good time"? Was there a moment that had been planned? Was there a series of events that had to happen first? Not steps in the adoption process, but instead, steps in life? Were there pieces to the puzzle that had to fall in to place before we could grow our family?

Was there knowledge that we were lacking? Was there an attitude that had to change? Was there an event that had to occur? A bond that needed to be renewed? An understanding that had to be reached?

We took two trips in October; after months and months of no time off, no vacation. Each were to attend the wedding of a close friend of Gayle, mixed with some sightseeing and travel rehearsing. The first to New York and Connecticut, in her old part of the world. The second to Wisconsin and Chicago, in my old part of the world. Were those pieces in the puzzle?

Were we waiting for the Russian governmental restructure, or were we waiting for a perfect moment in time that was to be our destiny?

We got the call today. Margot from our agency followed it up with this fowarded e-mail:

"At last, I have a good piece of news. The Governor has signed the new law.
Guild family is matched with 2 children: a boy under 12 months, and a girl who is 2 years and a half. They are from the Baby Home for healthy children.
I'll send the official invitation later, but the family is unofficially allowed to get ready for coming in 10 days.

The other families will be matched as well. You are welcome to send the preliminaries for the new families if there are some. I am practically alone working in this territory now.

The family may start preparing for the first trip. It will be in 10 days (until the decree comes into legal force). it is enough for them to spend here 2 days.

Warm regards,
Olga"

We don't know anything more at this point. Don't know if they are brother and sister.

Woke up just now thinking of baby names and of updating this journal. Now we start chasing visas, air fares and hotel reservations.

The wait has ended, for now. The moment is here. The rush begins again.