Out of the Fog

The first five days back, we were functioning in a fog. A big part of that was because the kids remained on Moscow time and were up most of the night. For us it was hard to sleep during the day, with the phone ringing, outside noises and sunshine, so we were working on minimum sleep.

To all those parents out there, we now "get it". Before we kept saying that we understood that going from zero to two kids was going to be a lot of work, but the reality of trying to normalize and focus on our child-rearing "sea legs", is harder than expected.

Gayle says it was the roughest week of our marriage. I agree. Trying to steer this parenthood ship together, on little sleep, and constantly running up on the rocks, has been a strain. But, the two of us have been very, very lucky to have a strong, committed union and an overall good match with goals and personalities, so this–greatest–challenge is gradually succeeding. Still in love!

The language barrier is perhaps a greater factor than we had planned. The Russian we learned did help us interact with adults while in Russia and for the most part, non-verbal communication is sufficient with the kids, but it would really help us to know the words that these kids heard and responded to while in the orphanage. Just picking words out from a dictionary or phrase book does not necessarily get through.

Of course, the biggest task is to figure out what they want and to anticipate when they what it. With Andrew the clues are more obvious when he is hungry, sleepy or needs changing. The remedy is usually clear with him. He is otherwise very happy. Being told "no" does not affect his mood. Yet!

Bethany is another story. So the terrible twos exist! She is a much greater challenge for me; much harder to enjoy her company. She whines and throws temper tantrums frequently. I would like to say to her, "Bethany, dear, this is not the best way to get what you want. You must instead keep the lines of communication open and focus on your longer range goals."

The hardest tasks for Bethany have been–listed in order from Most Difficult to Supremely Most Difficult–being restrained in a car seat, going to bed and taking a bath. Sometimes diaper changes have been traumatic for both of them.

If we only knew more about the routine and caregiver techniques in the orphanage; that would hopefully explain a lot. We do know that there was a very, very strict routine; especially in Bethany's orphanage.

It's been a busy week. Their first dentist visit; she has all her teeth, he is ahead of schedule on his. Their first doctor visit. Oh my! They got a clean bill of health, but Bethany had to get four immunization shots. Andrew was given a temporary pass, and so, got no shots, as we had not yet received his immunization history from the orphanage. We have now, and he has to go on this coming Thursday...poor guy!

They both had to go to the lab to have blood drawn. The techs tried, but couldn't get all the blood they needed after drawing from him twice, so we stopped. Bethany had her turn, then we tried with Andrew a third time and got what was needed. Could have used better trained staff at that facility.

We have had lots of visitors, and have been out on several outings. We visited Gayle's workplace (just up the street) and the adoption agency. First trip to the supermarket (not counting a quick trip or two in Moscow). First trip to the hardware store. First trip to the toy store.

Yesterday, we finally got the sand box/picnic table, the toddler basketball hoop and the play cottage. Also bought a park bench for the front yard, so we can sit and watch the kids when they play in the driveway. Plenty for us to assemble.

Today we need to go shopping for some more child-proofing devices. Andrew's weak legs and big head lead to constant falls. He takes them all in stride–doesn't cry–just gets right back up. I think that there has already been progress with their physical development. They are both at the low end of normal. Andrew has been packing it away at every meal; gets a nice Buddha belly each time.

Gayle's an Energizer Bunny mom (and wife). Often tired, sometimes frazzled nerves; but keeps on going–with plenty of hugs and kisses for all. Lucky us!!