Out of the Fog
The first five days back, we were functioning in a fog. A big part of that was because the kids
To all those parents out there, we now "get it". Before we kept saying that we understood that going from zero to two kids was going to be a lot of work, but the reality of trying to normalize and focus on our child-rearing "sea legs", is harder than expected.
The language barrier is perhaps a greater factor than we had planned. The Russian we learned did help us interact with adults while in Russia and for the most part, non-verbal communication is sufficient with the kids, but it would really help us to know the words that these kids heard and responded to while in the orphanage. Just picking words out from a dictionary or phrase book does not necessarily get through.
Of course, the biggest task is to figure out what they want and to anticipate when they what it. With Andrew the clues are more obvious when he is hungry, sleepy or needs changing. The remedy is usually clear with him. He is otherwise very happy. Being told "no" does not affect his mood. Yet!
The hardest tasks for Bethany have been–listed in order from Most Difficult to Supremely Most Difficult–being restrained in a car seat, going to bed and taking a bath. Sometimes diaper changes have been traumatic for both of them.
If we only knew more about the routine and caregiver techniques in the orphanage; that would hopefully explain a lot. We do know that there was a very, very strict routine; especially in Bethany's orphanage.
They both had to go to the lab to have blood drawn. The techs tried, but couldn't get all the blood they needed after drawing from him twice, so we stopped. Bethany had her turn, then we tried with Andrew a third time and got what was needed. Could have used better trained staff at that facility.
We have had lots of visitors, and have been out on several outings. We visited Gayle's workplace (just up the street) and the adoption agency. First trip to the supermarket (not counting a quick trip or two in Moscow). First trip to the hardware store. First trip to the toy store.
Yesterday, we finally got the sand box/picnic table, the toddler basketball hoop and the play cottage. Also bought a park bench for the front yard, so we can sit and watch the kids when they play in the driveway. Plenty for us to assemble.
Gayle's an Energizer Bunny mom (and wife). Often tired, sometimes frazzled nerves; but keeps on going–with plenty of hugs and kisses for all. Lucky us!!
2 Comments:
I am so blessed to get to live right next door to you guys. I have seen from an outside view how the children and new parents are growning togehter. You can just feel the love coming from your home! I can see changes in the kids every time I see them.
You two are remarkable! The admiration for the other has been most obvious since you two decided to tie the knot. This voyage to parenthood has been filled with a lot of hope, but more pain and "what now(s)?" than those without what put you together could possibly stand. And this adoption process, how many of us could have gone through so much and for so long before Bethany and Andrew were finally in your arms, greeting family and friends and coming home to Phoenix... truly a journey needing the love and all else you have for one another and always show.
It has been good to learn of your optimism with all your questions and that you have experienced with Bethany and Andrew since they are "finally" home. I am hopeful I can be a better cousin (although I think "Uncle John" for the little ones) to all when feeling a little better.
My love to you all... always.
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